Gifts that Mean Alot

If you’re like me, you enjoy giving presents, and this time of the year I get to really focus on the art of gift giving. Now I’m not into the commercialism that has people stampeding department stores or being aggressive and a little crazy.   I like to give gifts throughout the year, and when it’s a holiday or birthday, well even better.

Charitable organizations throughout the world are suffering from the US economy this year, probably the most dramatic decline in charitable giving since 9/11. That’s a real tragedy in and of itself, because those organizations do bold and noble things like:  save the polar bears, work to end hunger and poverty in the USA and abroad, teach teenage mothers job and life skills, raise awareness of domestic violence and offer safe haven for those in danger, and so many more life enhancing missions.  So is there a way to balance the emotional high from giving a gift,  meet gift giving obligations, and make the world a better place?

Organization in the Days of Chaos

I sure picked an odd time of year to try to get organized.   Things are hectic at my house.  New cat, old dog, two kids, and presents, indoor trees, parties, baking, client schedules and deadlines, homework, vacation plans.  So why in the world would I choose the hectic month of December to get organized?   Call me crazy.  Just make sure if you call, you leave a detailed message so I don’t have to try and find your phone number.  Because I have no idea where my address book is.

What I discovered about my own creativity:  it completely evaporates if my environment is disorganized.  I’m embarrassed to admit, I have four piles of papers, magazines, trade journals, and articles to dig through, sitting on my bedroom floor.  Crikey, I’ve turned into that crazy cat lady.  Stock piles of information and things to sift through while I let every day business take over and I begin to feel like a failure.  Disorganized, ill-informed, and I never did get to creating that holiday cookbook for my family.   Worse, I never got through the last two issues of Vanity Fair and my subscription to Oprah (the magazine) is stacking up in the corner.  I did bookmark some cool recipes in Family Circle, but I didn’t exactly get them copied or cooked for Thanksgiving.  What’s happened to me?

Life took over.  I had clients to attract, which created work that actually needed to get done, which produced income, which I had to spend.   A simple cycle of do what needs to get done first.  Which explains why I waited until 10 days before Christmas to put the gosh darn tree up, much to the chagrin of my anxious children.  But honestly, what I’ve learned in the last 6 weeks is that I cannot create, write, or even function properly in a cluttered environment.

So I tuned into organization expert, Peter Walsh (he’s on XM radio), and decided he was right.  The clutter did make my butt look fat.  It made me feel doomy, gloomy, and uninspired.  One pile at a time.  Actually one pile per day.

I devoted 60 minutes to my organization quest and found that in small bites, I could eliminate clutter and find a new home for my research material: only two choices and they were the recycle bin or the project binder.  I did not allow myself to create sub-piles or new piles.  My goal was to touch each piece of paper, read it, comprehend it, and determine where it belonged.  And the answer was always the same:  not on the bedroom floor in piles!

My holiday wish for you:  make some time, sort through the clutter, and improve your space.  You’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish when you’re not surrounded by stifled energy and old junk.   Look at me, my kids actually get a Christmas tree this year.   That is, if the cat will quit trying to chew it into little pieces.

Trusting Your Intuition

Do you listen to your little voice? Do you encourage it to speak up? If you can believe it, intuition is a real form of knowledge. It’s a natural function of body and brain. if you can learn to interpret your intuition, you can possibly make smarter decisions. Really…that’s what neuro-psychiatrists are saying.

Toni Collette

Actress Toni Collette says “the better you know yourself, the better your relationship with the rest of the world.” So Hollywood and neuro-psychiatrists agree. But seriously, it makes sense doesn’t it?

I challenge you to remember a time when you entered into a professional or personal relationship, and the little voice inside sent you a signal saying “watch out, proceed with caution, don’t do it..” Did you listen to it? Did you ignore it? How did that relationship work out? Most likely, your voice or intuition told you all that you needed to know.  It generally does.

You Are Not a Victim

“You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you.” — Mary Tyler Moore

We are the creating force in our lives.  We are not victims of circumstance.  But it is easy for us to align ourselves with the victim mentality, and in doing so…we give up our power.  Unpleasant things happen.  Life is a balance of positive and negative – it’s as simple as that.  Things happen, but they don’t happen to us.  Unless we personalize them.

Consider this – a Nazi prison camp survivor, interviewed by Stephen Covey, told this story:  Initially he thought to himself, “Why must I suffer like this?” While his treatment only got worse, he was able to shift his thinking and question “What is life asking of me?” When he thought he was suffering, he’d find someone experiencing greater suffering, and he’d share his meager rations with the person.

Setbacks are a call to action.  Some call it making lemonade out of lemons.  I think that when we accept our circumstances, and recognize that they are our circumstances for just this moment, we become empowered.  We have free choice to deal or not deal, any way that we choose.  Circumstances may be beyond our control, but our actions are completely within our control.

Motivated to Change

Changing a habit requires a strong sense of purpose.  The goal should fit into a bigger picture.  You need to connect your activities to a grander scheme.  When you are able to make the connection, you’ll feel motivated to make it happen.

For example, let’s say you don’t enjoy exercising, but you’ve got children.  You want to spend quality time with them.  Let’s make some connections between one of your challenges (exercising) and your big picture goal (quality time with family).  Exercising will benefit you with more energy, increased stamina, and improved health.  Those benefits will allow you to spend time with your kids.  Connect the dots and you’re more likely to be motivated to go after your goals.  You will be passionate, committed, and relentless in achieving your goals.

Examine the challenges you’ve allowed to get in between you and your goals.  What are the excuses?  No time?  Too tired?  Are those excuses the real story? Could you not take control of your time and say, use your lunch break to get some exercise in?  Could you incorporate your goal of spending more time with family with your goal of exercising?  A walk before dinner maybe?  Or walking the kids to the bus stop in the morning?  Turn the TV off a half hour earlier than usual and squeeze in some stretching or some aerobic activity?

Are your excuses really unsurmountable?  Or can they be overcome with a little motivation and focus?

Ask yourself what you’re willing to give up, and what you’re willing to do to reach your ultimate goal.  When you are deeply connected to your purpose, you’ll find yourself creating solutions rather than creating excuses.

Take a Vacation from Worry

It can seem like there’s never enough time to indulge in time for self.  Always a commitment, a meeting, something we should be doing for someone else.  But to be at our peak performance, we need a vacation from schedules, worries, anxieties…a break from our problems.

You can stop thinking by taking a mental vacation.  It’s easy, and it starts with a simple meditation.  Mental activity tends to distract you from your awareness of what’s going on around you.  We become lost in our thoughts.  We worry, we stress out, we plan, we anticipate.  Meditation allows us to release all of that, and just be.

Try sitting upright, but comfortably.  Allow yourself to relax your body, especially the areas of your body where you hold your stress.  Your jaws, shoulders, your arms…they should feel loose.  Become intently aware of your breathing and focus on your breathes as they go in and out.  When your mind wanders, acknowledge that you’ve lost contact with your breathing, and pay attention as you inhale the next time.

The point of the meditation is to simply breathe, and focus on being in your body.  You don’t need to be thinking about anything.  Devote time each day to just focusing on your breathing.  It allows you to stop thinking about work, kids, chores, commitments, and only focus on yourself.  And face it – you’re worth knowing.  And you’re worth taking care of.  Even if it’s only a brief, daily vacation from your worries.

When You Feel Impatient

Who hasn’t been frustrated by a slow driver, forgetful waitress, or boring colleague who tells the same story over and over? It’s called impatience. And sometimes it gets the best of us. Here’s what happens to your body when you feel the frustration of impatience:

• Stress hormones are released
• Heart races
• You feel out of control

This is when “living in the now” can really backfire. Especially when you feel stuck in that moment, refusing to let go of the cause of your irritation. This keeps you immobilized.

Overcoming Procrastination

According to a study, led by Piers Steel, phD, Americans procrastinate. No surprise there. According to the study, 95% of us put off doing things with great enthusiasm. Sometimes we spend more effort on avoiding things than actually doing them. Think of the energy we put into the art of avoidance. Pretty impressive.

Here are four strategies for overcoming procrastination and making things happen.

Reach Your Goals Today

When I began working for myself I was thrilled with the limitless possibilities. I could set my own schedule, there was no longer a limit to my earning potential, and I could choose who I wanted to work with. It was all me, all the time. I was proud of myself for being brave enough to take the road less traveled.

In order to achieve success and reach my goals I knew I’d need to work out a few kinks. For example, I tend to be a “big idea” person. I love to brainstorm solutions and concepts, and I’ll happily spend the day teaching someone a new idea or method. I’ve found that balance is key. Otherwise I end up trading my time for money, and I can go an entire day, sometimes a full week, and I’ve had fun but I haven’t made any money.

The foundation of the law of attraction is that you attract to yourself that which you focus on. So I focused on what I wanted. Where I wanted to be in a year, how I was going to spend my money, what I would do with that financial freedom. But the concept was so huge that I would use affirmations like “I’m so successful,” and “I create wealth.” What does that really mean?

Your Life as a Pie

If my life was a pie, it would have to be a Boston Cream Pie. Chocolate and custard – what could be better? But not all pies are meant for eating. When I was coaching I would often ask my clients to visualize their lives as a pie. No, not the yummy kind. Let me explain.

I’d start by asking my clients to simplify their lives into four areas. Now, certainly we all serve many roles in our lives. We may be a parent, sibling, employee, boss, team mate, church member, coach, community leader, volunteer…the different roles we play in our lives are quite complex. But for this exercise the goal is to simplify. The standard pie would generally be broken into four areas: