Being the Parent I Wish I Had

I am blessed with two wonderful, often challenging children. Both girls. Both drop-dead cute. Yikes! One is in elementary school, and her needs are quite clear. She needs me to fix her supper, to help her with homework and bath time, and to read to her and play with her. She needs me to kiss the boo-boos and scare away the monsters under the bed. My other daughter, she’s in high school. While just as needy, my methods of parenting her are quite different than with my other daughter. I can’t help her wish her problems away on a falling star, I can’t turn on the light and convince her the monsters are gone.

I wouldn’t change a thing. Except that I am parenting without having had a good role model. When I was growing up, children were to be seen, not heard. We didn’t talk back, in fact we barely talked at all. Whatever you did, you didn’t want to rock the boat, because “back in the day,” discipline meant getting the snot knocked outta ya. I’m happy to say that bad parenting isn’t genetic.

My children challenge me every day to reach a little higher, do things a little better. They are watching me to see my reactions, my methods, my thought processes. While it can get rough always being in the spot light, I do my best to show my girls what I never saw growing up.

We live in a single parent home, and we’re good. I welcome my ex-partner’s very active role in my children’s lives and I rely on him to remain steady when my emotions are at the edge. We complement each other with our diverse parenting styles. He is methodical, analytical. I am reactive and emotional. My kids are a beautiful blend of both.

My goal is to do my best, in spite of how I grew up. I don’t use physical discipline with my children. They don’t throw fits, they don’t act out, and they are generally very respectful children. I didn’t grow up with the right tools, but I’ve made it my number one priority to be the parent I wish that I had. So far…so good.

Tags: child rearing, discipline, parenting, parenting advice, parenting styles, releasing the past, single parent