Charitable organizations throughout the world are suffering from the US economy this year, probably the most dramatic decline in charitable giving since 9/11. That’s a real tragedy in and of itself, because those organizations do bold and noble things like:  save the polar bears, work to end hunger and poverty in the USA and abroad, teach teenage mothers job and life skills, raise awareness of domestic violence and offer safe haven for those in danger, and so many more life enhancing missions.  So is there a way to balance the emotional high from giving a gift,  meet gift giving obligations, and make the world a better place?

This year, I chose to donate money to Heifer International in honor of my family members.   I also adopted a homeless cat and donated to the non-profit rescue organization in honor of some friends.  If I could comfortably donate more of my income, I would.  Because this year, folks need it even more than usual.  And they need it more than I do.

So as I’m filled with a sense of gratitude for the gifts and people in my life, and as I look forward to the possibilities of the New Year,  I am also grateful for the opportunity to share my good fortunes with those who need some good fortune.  If you want to give something that means a lot, dig a little deeper and find some room for the charity of your choice.  The gift of spirit you’ll receive will last through the season of giving.

Come January, when non-profits will struggle to balance their budgets for the year, consider taking that December gift and turning it into a smaller, monthly stipend. Most charities offer monthly sustainer programs and are able to make your donation go even further, as it adds to their monthly cash reserve.

Since December is the month of giving, many charities have to pray for a windfall of holiday donations to carry them through the first several months of the New Year, because donations tend to dry up after the holiday season passes. However, the clients they serve are in need of help 12 months out of the year. Maybe you can be someone’s hero this holiday season, or even offer a resource for hope in 2009.

What I discovered about my own creativity:  it completely evaporates if my environment is disorganized.  I’m embarrassed to admit, I have four piles of papers, magazines, trade journals, and articles to dig through, sitting on my bedroom floor.  Crikey, I’ve turned into that crazy cat lady.  Stock piles of information and things to sift through while I let every day business take over and I begin to feel like a failure.  Disorganized, ill-informed, and I never did get to creating that holiday cookbook for my family.   Worse, I never got through the last two issues of Vanity Fair and my subscription to Oprah (the magazine) is stacking up in the corner.  I did bookmark some cool recipes in Family Circle, but I didn’t exactly get them copied or cooked for Thanksgiving.  What’s happened to me?

Life took over.  I had clients to attract, which created work that actually needed to get done, which produced income, which I had to spend.   A simple cycle of do what needs to get done first.  Which explains why I waited until 10 days before Christmas to put the gosh darn tree up, much to the chagrin of my anxious children.  But honestly, what I’ve learned in the last 6 weeks is that I cannot create, write, or even function properly in a cluttered environment.

So I tuned into organization expert, Peter Walsh (he’s on XM radio), and decided he was right.  The clutter did make my butt look fat.  It made me feel doomy, gloomy, and uninspired.  One pile at a time.  Actually one pile per day.

I devoted 60 minutes to my organization quest and found that in small bites, I could eliminate clutter and find a new home for my research material: only two choices and they were the recycle bin or the project binder.  I did not allow myself to create sub-piles or new piles.  My goal was to touch each piece of paper, read it, comprehend it, and determine where it belonged.  And the answer was always the same:  not on the bedroom floor in piles!

My holiday wish for you:  make some time, sort through the clutter, and improve your space.  You’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish when you’re not surrounded by stifled energy and old junk.   Look at me, my kids actually get a Christmas tree this year.   That is, if the cat will quit trying to chew it into little pieces.

Toni Collette

Actress Toni Collette says “the better you know yourself, the better your relationship with the rest of the world.” So Hollywood and neuro-psychiatrists agree. But seriously, it makes sense doesn’t it?

I challenge you to remember a time when you entered into a professional or personal relationship, and the little voice inside sent you a signal saying “watch out, proceed with caution, don’t do it..” Did you listen to it? Did you ignore it? How did that relationship work out? Most likely, your voice or intuition told you all that you needed to know.  It generally does.

When you’re faced with a major decision, consider making a chart. Write down your options. What would be the benefits, and what might be the challenges? Make note of your thoughts, emotions, dreams, and physical sensations you experience when weighing your decision. Do you feel overwhelmingly for or against? Use this reflection to make your decision. Your feelings are an excellent gauge – and are a reflection of your intuition. So next time, listen to what your gut is trying to tell you!

We are the creating force in our lives.  We are not victims of circumstance.  But it is easy for us to align ourselves with the victim mentality, and in doing so…we give up our power.  Unpleasant things happen.  Life is a balance of positive and negative – it’s as simple as that.  Things happen, but they don’t happen to us.  Unless we personalize them.

Consider this – a Nazi prison camp survivor, interviewed by Stephen Covey, told this story:  Initially he thought to himself, “Why must I suffer like this?” While his treatment only got worse, he was able to shift his thinking and question “What is life asking of me?” When he thought he was suffering, he’d find someone experiencing greater suffering, and he’d share his meager rations with the person.

Setbacks are a call to action.  Some call it making lemonade out of lemons.  I think that when we accept our circumstances, and recognize that they are our circumstances for just this moment, we become empowered.  We have free choice to deal or not deal, any way that we choose.  Circumstances may be beyond our control, but our actions are completely within our control.

For example, let’s say you don’t enjoy exercising, but you’ve got children.  You want to spend quality time with them.  Let’s make some connections between one of your challenges (exercising) and your big picture goal (quality time with family).  Exercising will benefit you with more energy, increased stamina, and improved health.  Those benefits will allow you to spend time with your kids.  Connect the dots and you’re more likely to be motivated to go after your goals.  You will be passionate, committed, and relentless in achieving your goals.

Examine the challenges you’ve allowed to get in between you and your goals.  What are the excuses?  No time?  Too tired?  Are those excuses the real story? Could you not take control of your time and say, use your lunch break to get some exercise in?  Could you incorporate your goal of spending more time with family with your goal of exercising?  A walk before dinner maybe?  Or walking the kids to the bus stop in the morning?  Turn the TV off a half hour earlier than usual and squeeze in some stretching or some aerobic activity?

Are your excuses really unsurmountable?  Or can they be overcome with a little motivation and focus?

Ask yourself what you’re willing to give up, and what you’re willing to do to reach your ultimate goal.  When you are deeply connected to your purpose, you’ll find yourself creating solutions rather than creating excuses.

You can stop thinking by taking a mental vacation.  It’s easy, and it starts with a simple meditation.  Mental activity tends to distract you from your awareness of what’s going on around you.  We become lost in our thoughts.  We worry, we stress out, we plan, we anticipate.  Meditation allows us to release all of that, and just be.

Try sitting upright, but comfortably.  Allow yourself to relax your body, especially the areas of your body where you hold your stress.  Your jaws, shoulders, your arms…they should feel loose.  Become intently aware of your breathing and focus on your breathes as they go in and out.  When your mind wanders, acknowledge that you’ve lost contact with your breathing, and pay attention as you inhale the next time.

The point of the meditation is to simply breathe, and focus on being in your body.  You don’t need to be thinking about anything.  Devote time each day to just focusing on your breathing.  It allows you to stop thinking about work, kids, chores, commitments, and only focus on yourself.  And face it – you’re worth knowing.  And you’re worth taking care of.  Even if it’s only a brief, daily vacation from your worries.

• Stress hormones are released
• Heart races
• You feel out of control

This is when “living in the now” can really backfire. Especially when you feel stuck in that moment, refusing to let go of the cause of your irritation. This keeps you immobilized.

The antidote to impatience is patience. Self control. Restraint. Peace. Harmony. Which leads to relaxation, wellness, and freedom.

Here are some techniques for letting go of impatience.

• Stop. Give up. Accept that you are powerless over the situation.
• Own the moment. You’ll be more likely able to relax.
• Check out the physical sensations you’re experiencing. Where are you tense? Shoulders? Neck? Stomach? Are you clenched? Focus on the sensation and give it a name. Know what it is.
• Allow yourself to have it and release it. Don’t try to fix it. See if you can welcome and release the feelings.

When you chill out, or calm down, your powers of reasoning will return. With clarity you can calmly determine how you’ll make up the lost time, you’ll be able to patiently and supportively live through another telling of the same story, you can calmly wait out your place in line while allowing your mind to drift toward some pleasant thoughts or day dreams.

By giving up the fight, you won’t feel conflicted. Things are what they are. Know it. Accept it. And move on.

Here are four strategies for overcoming procrastination and making things happen.

• Don’t think of how far you are from completion. Concentrate instead on “starting.” Focus on the beginning and avoid the fear you may have on finishing the task. Sometimes finishing brings up issues like “What if I do it wrong?” or “I might screw it up!” . Do not criticize yourself, retain your sense of worth. Release your attachment to the outcome. And if you slip up – simply begin again. Start over.
• Work on your task for just five minutes. When you commit to a really short amount of time, you can meet your goal, or begin working on your goal, without stress. Ask yourself “What’s the simplest step I can take to put things in motion?” Use a timer. This will help you to overcome the issue of not knowing how to start – simply jump in for a short amount of time and see what you accomplish. You may be pleased to see how much you can accomplish in just 5 minutes. And, it might be difficult to stop once you start. What you set in motion, stays in motion!
• Don’t over plan. We fool ourselves into thinking that planning is a form of taking action. Write down only what you can accomplish in 24 hours. Address the task in tiny steps if necessary.
• Do the fun stuff FIRST. Face it…often we put off what needs to be done in order to do what we enjoy doing. Set aside ample time for leisure and recreation. Have your fun before you start anything that feels like work. After the fun, get started on the task. That’s one less excuse in your way.

In order to achieve success and reach my goals I knew I’d need to work out a few kinks. For example, I tend to be a “big idea” person. I love to brainstorm solutions and concepts, and I’ll happily spend the day teaching someone a new idea or method. I’ve found that balance is key. Otherwise I end up trading my time for money, and I can go an entire day, sometimes a full week, and I’ve had fun but I haven’t made any money.

The foundation of the law of attraction is that you attract to yourself that which you focus on. So I focused on what I wanted. Where I wanted to be in a year, how I was going to spend my money, what I would do with that financial freedom. But the concept was so huge that I would use affirmations like “I’m so successful,” and “I create wealth.” What does that really mean?

My “big idea” personality was in conflict with achieving my goals. For me, it’s not about the big picture anymore. It’s turned into “What can I do today, to earn $xxxx, today?” Or “What activity can I participate in today, that will enable this (strengthen my relationship with my daughter or bring a smile to a friend’s face or…) to happen, today?” To reach my goals I realized I needed to break them down into what was happening TODAY.

I can easily visualize what I can do right now. By focusing on the action I can take today, I’m still on the path to achieve my “big picture” goals. And I get to enjoy the journey.

I’d start by asking my clients to simplify their lives into four areas. Now, certainly we all serve many roles in our lives. We may be a parent, sibling, employee, boss, team mate, church member, coach, community leader, volunteer…the different roles we play in our lives are quite complex. But for this exercise the goal is to simplify. The standard pie would generally be broken into four areas:

• Spiritual Pursuits
• Work/Finances
• Family/Relationships
• Recreation

Next, I’d ask them to assign a percentage to each area – how much time were they spending on each area in any given week? Typically we’d find that one area would get about 80% and the remaining 20% would be spread thinly over the other areas. The exercise is meant to bring things into focus. Are the things that are most important to us actually getting the attention they deserve?

Imagine…what your own pie would look like? How much time would you estimate you spend on recreation? How much time do you spend working or earning money? Are you allowing time for spiritual pursuits or relationships?

How important are the pieces of your pie? Are you satisfied with how much attention each pie piece gets? Are there areas of your life that are not being nurtured? Are you devoting too much of your precious energy on a particular area? Might you be ignoring other areas that are important to you?

The coolest thing about the pie is it provides a visual for you to focus on. Are the sizes of your pie slices in proportion to how much you value each area? Most often the answer is no. You can’t create more time, but you can change the size of the pie slices by refocusing your energy and attention. Focus on the areas that bring you the greatest return emotionally.

Be mindful of how you are currently expending your energy, and if you find you’re not on track – make some adjustments. Revisit your pie often, and celebrate your ability to make changes when you notice your pie is askew. Maybe over a slice of Boston Cream Pie…cheers!